Why Students Think No One Cares...

I couldn't even tell you how many times I have students that hit rock bottom because they just feel like no one cares. It is one of the hardest things to hear as someone who works directly with youth, because no matter what you tell them... they are still going to feel like no one cares about their hearts. I wanted to explore this idea a little more, and perhaps get to the root of the evil so we can fight it together more effectively. So here are a few things that I have come up with on my journey...

Reasons why these teens think that no one cares:

1) Bad Parenting - Oh man... He said it. I know what you are thinking... Adam, how could you possibly say something like that when you have never had kids! Well friends... I have never jumped into liquid hot magma either, but I would still not recommend swimming in it. One of the first things I hear from any student who feels like no one cares about what is going on in their life or the pain that they have is "my dad is always so busy", or "my mom just yells at me all of the time". Well parents... I have two recommendations for you. First, I understand being a parent is tough, and sometimes you have to raise your voice. I may not be a parent, but I have to deal with 150 teens weekly... it's a job. Try LISTENING to your kids. Not just listening, but really LISTENING. You don't need to say anything... just listen, it can change your kids life. My second recommendation, get your ass off the blackberry, and go love on your kid. (if you are a student, I was referring to a donkey...yea...) I am sorry for the strong language, but I can not emphasize this enough. There is no possible way I could get this across in simple text. So many teens feel so lost from their parent not being there to listen and guide when necessary...

So now that anyone over 21 hates me... I want to continue to my second reason why students think that no one cares.

2 ) Few actually do - It is so frustrating living in a world where the number one goal is to usually look out for "number one." The whole Bible is littered with instructions on how to love people: To listen to them, to put others above yourself, to serve people especially when it isn't convenient and to love those that are especially difficult to love. If you think that you have this down... then student ministries at CCV would love to have you! I feel like we all need to go to the roots of loving people and do it abundantly.

We have a leader at our youth group who gets frustrated at times when they feel like they one of the few having the really tough conversations... The ones where students drop a bomb on you. If we had more people who were up to the challenge of CARING, then it wouldn't be as difficult of a task!

3) Self Reliability - For this one I am guilty as charged. If I have a problem, I don't want to lay them on anyone else. I guess you could say that I hold it in. I always have to feel confident and strong and seem like I have it all together. Well many students are the same way. They feel like they have to have it together, they have to have it figured out. Well this may be big news to some and old news to the more wise... but we DEFINITELY DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER. Especially in your teen years, these are the years of messing up and learning from your mistakes. These are the years of questioning things and doubting things in order to grow. As Christians we need to begin to set an example of transparency.

Listen... say it with me... "I do not have my crap together... neither do you... and that is OK with me..." Didn't that feel good?

I am not saying we all have to be pansies. Men... We in no way have to resemble Mr. Rogers because we are showing that we are weak. I REAL MEN can admit his weaknesses and show those around him that he is striving to better that weakness.

So whether you are a teen or a parents perhaps some of this insight was helpful... or perhaps just frustrating. But either way I just wanted to end telling you that I CARE... Do you?