Up in the air...

And so this is it... Tomorrow is my last day in the office. We have a lake party on Wednesday for all CIY staff and interns, and then I fly home that night/Thursday morning. Not only is this the end to an incredibly long and impacting summer, but this is also a really difficult transition as well. I will be going from this crazy pace in this odd part of the country, to my home sweet home. I will also be finding out in the next few days whether I can even go back to school for another year because of money. I really am learning so much, even from something so small. It's really easy for us to want to do what we have our hearts set on, and be heartbroken if it doesn't quite work out that way. It's a lot harder to truly let God have the wheel, and sit back and enjoy the road. Even if He's driving somewhere you may not even expect to be driving. I didn't really expect him to drive me here this summer, or to Eastern... I mean heck... I never even expect him to drive me anywhere I really expect to go. Yesterday I spoke with Jayson French about not being sure if I could go back to school, and he told me that he could find me a youth ministry job pretty much anywhere in the country. He is networked beyond my belief. Jayson is in charge of all of CIY's major conferences. He probably meets 1000 youth pastors a year. I had never thought of being a huge part of a youth ministry any time soon. I had never thought it possible to be done going to school for now. Many things are up in the air, and all I can do sometimes is trust where God is leading me right now. I mean I could continue asking myself, "why don't things ever go as a planned?", "where am I supposed to be?", "God how come I can't..." and on and on and on... Until I come to the reality that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. My ministry will follow me. The lessons I learn will always be there, just through different things and people. Theres a verse in James that has really helped me keep my chin high throughout any times when I just wasn't sure what is to become of me. Check it out, James 4:13-15:

13Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

I guess you could say I really have no idea what is going to happen tommorrow. I am just a midst. To tell you the truth, yeah. I'm ready to come home. I really want to go to Eastern again. I Want a lot of things. But here are some things I know. I know I have a family that is really excited for me to come home. I have the best friends in the whole world. I have a church that I love, and a church community that really cares about me. I have a beautiful little lady that loves God way more than me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. So I guess, yeah... when I look at it that way. Even if I have no idea what is going to happen to me when I come back home, back to reality... That if it's the Lord's will... yeah, I'm just gunna do this, or that... and it's going to be amazing...

So thank all of you that have kept up with my journey throughout the summer. It has been an incredible experience, and I look forward to sharing with you all when I get home. God has taught me more than I thought possible this summer. Taught me how to serve. Taught me how to humble down, and most importantly how to love... If you have been reading this blog all summer, and you only got one thing from it, I hope it is that Love... love is the answer to it all. So I should really get to bed, one last day of work. The lake party, then the airport. Then just like my life, I will again, be Up in the air...

In Him,

Adam

Whom shall I fear?

Right now I am right backstage in the middle of the last Set for the band for the whole conference. Some words to the song Never Let Go just rocked my world... "If my God is with me, whom shall I fear?" Lets all answer that right now... whom shall we fear? When you think of something let me know... oh man, God is so good...

Welcome to Tennessee...

I know it has been quite some time since my last post, but it has been real crazy in these closing few weeks on tour. I am now in Cleveland, Tennessee for the second week of conferences here. Last was a really fun week. Two major things are first of all the incredible connection I had made with this one youth group from Florida. I am the head of the Welcoming committee, which welcomes all of the churches as they arrive on location. We hop in their van/bus and pray for them, and chill with them, and take them outside to play stupid games, it's awesome. Any who, I met this one youth group, Harbor Side Church from Florida. I ended up really hitting it off with a bunch of kids from their youth group (pictured left). Throughout the week I ended up doing security on their hall, which means I got to go and hang out with them at the end of every night. I will always remember these guys. They were genuine guys, who were really searching for their identity in Christ. It was heartbreaking to watch them find it throughout the week. Another thing that happened throughout the week was some K-9 intruders in the night. While all of the kids were out at Youth group time after celebration, there had been two loose pit bulls that came loose on our campus. They ended up biting two students, then getting punched in the face by a youth pastor. Of course dozens of cops show up with guns drawn screaming for kids to get into the buildings. Of course they thought what I had originally thought, "oh crap, someone is shooting up the campus." But luckily it was only dogs. So the police of Cleveland, Tennessee who very obviously had nothing better to do began terrorizing our campus for over an hour before shooting one of the dogs. You can imagine after hearing a gunshot on campus that many of the kids were scared to death, let me just tell you that was a long night of security. I finally got to bed at 2am. At the end of the week I also got to go to this Beautiful waterfall near North Carolina, and just catch up and get ready for this next week. So on to this week... the whole feel of this week has been completely different. It's really weird knowing this is the last time I am going to be doing all of this. To top it off, this is also our biggest crowed packing the gym at just under 1600 teens. I can't help but feel whats is going on in the room. I can't help but have my heart broken hundreds of times a week. I can't help but listen to the cries of high school kids and ignore them. Take tonight for example... It was the night where the students wrote their hurts out on these giant clear walls, that went together to make a isolation chamber that two ladies will sit in all night and pray for. I feel so much pain every time I read them. I don't know how you can't. Just an example of some of the stuff on the wall... "Kidnapped and raped, 02/03/2004; molestation; broken home; my family hates me; I want to end it all, please someone stop me; no one knows I exist; I'm tired of being... alone... " All you can do is place your hand there, and pray for them, and feel for them. Then worship starts up. The band screams out, "so come home running, His arms are open wide". I look around. I see hundreds of kids in absolute tears, which groups of people all around them with a hand on their shoulders. I see that every night, I feel that every night. Sometimes you just don't know what to do with that. The incredible thing is , come Friday, the mood changes, and then it all comes together. On Friday they sing "shout Unto God" And if you know the song, then you know what I am talking about. The lyrics say "the enemies been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gonna life out voice in victory, we're gonna make our praises loud". All of the kids have their fist in the air. They're fired up. They're mad at what Satan has done to their homes; done to their families; done to their youth group; done to their friendships; done to their lives... done to them... With a final roar, one of the band members screams at the top of his lungs, and the kids just go insane for Christ. I see this happen... every... single... Friday... And it will never change the impact of it, no matter how many times I see it. But what does this do to my life, what does that do to me. What Am I going to take home from all of this. I guess When you are surrounded by these teens all the time, you can do nothing but serve. I'm not quite sure who I am going to be when I go back home to Pa, but I know I am not the same as yesterday. Yesterday I was not the same as the day before. I mean, how can I? How can you see so much pain, so much joy, so many broken hearts, and ever be the same? I know something I need to take away from all of this, is that we can't sit back, and watch Christianity happen. There is hurt EVERYWHERE, Just because it isn't written on a panel, doesn't mean I am not constantly surrounded by it. We all have a call to GO, and what I mean is get off your butt. Make yourself uncomfortable. And get into peoples lives. Find the hurt. And help them wipe it clean. I can only imagine what one of those panels would look like if it sat inside my church. If it sat in my school. If it sat in my own house. I guess sometimes you feel so convicted of what our call is that you can't stay quiet. My accountability partner and I created a campaign that we joke about, but take completely seriously at the same time. It's called our "no excuses campaign." I keep thinking it's going to be a huge difference when I go home. The more I think about it. Yeah, I will be a thousand miles away from here. No, I won't have a band. No, I won't have hundreds of thousands of dollars of stereo equipment although I wouldn't mind. And No, I will not be surrounded by thousands of teens a week. But the same ministry will still happen. Having the heart of a servant is an incredibly hard thing to actually hold in your chest, but it's what we're called to find, and use... every... single... waking... minute...

So the end is in sight, I get to see my beautiful lady in less then two weeks, and have my mommas home cooking in a little over three weeks. I can't say I'm not excited. But I have to give these last few days everything I possess. Thanks for reading. Please keep praying. It;s power I can't begin to explain.

Doulos... His Servant... His Slave,

Adam

I'm running...

So don't be mislead by the name of this post. When I tell you I'm running, I don't want you to get the idea that I am running from, but more like running to. I guess there comes a point in the summer where things start to become a job. The days start to get long. And some of the excitement begins to somewhat hinder away. I guess I am also at the point where I am just not going to allow that to happen. I have been lucky enough to have a few very incredible conversations in the last few nights. Last night I got to talk to a very close friend who is also an accountability partner. We were just exchanging our extreme passions for persuing Christ, and how it's going to be a scary thing to head back to school because neither of us want to change who we have become this summer. We were talking about running. Not just normal running, but running like when you are being chased by something real big. Or running like when you first see your girlfriend in the terminal for the first time in three months, or running like you would in a 100m sprint. No distractions. You are just looking strait at your goal, and nothing can stop you. Of course the run is always that much better when you have those running around you. This summer has been real hard. I just spent another night of an hour of sleep, packing the truck, than 14 more hours in the van. Only to leave again in a few days for Eastern Tennessee. It's easy to be brought down when those that surround you may not share the same passions, or atleast not to the same degree. It just takes some time to figure out who those people are that are running with you. I have been spending the last few days figuring out who those people are. And God has clearly showed me that, it's incredible. It couldn't come at a better time as well. Work has been hard. I had to take over the back stage manager position on the last 2 days of the last conference, as well as my own work load because my teamate had to go to a wedding. And then to top things off I am not finding out that I don't have the money to go to Eastern next semester. AND to top all of that off, I really want a home cooked meal... real bad! Hah. I know it's not as big as the others, but man I could go for it. But in the midst of all these problems I am truly finding out the benefits to being disciplined in my faith. It's reallyt an incredible feeling when you take a lot of that dependance off of yourself, and lay it on God's shoulders. Let me just throw it out there that he is definately better at dealing with it than I am. However it is a scary thought of not being able to pay for school this next year. God's provision has never failed me before. What usually happens is I don't trust Him, he comes through, and then I feel like an idiot. Granted, how he does things isn't always how I want or expect, but he pulls through. Doubt is a killer... I am tired of doubt. If anything though, I do believe in the power of prayer, so if you could help contribute, it would mean the world. So on a side note, I got to watch fireworks over Lake Michigan. It was a really cool show, and I was around a lot of really cool people. Unfortunately though, all of the Bible College students that have traveled with us all summer so far have parted ways. I don't know if I will see any of them again, but they have definately made a large impact in my life. If you are wondering what the BC Staff do, is they come and work for C.I.Y. in exchange we advertize their school at our events. They usually travel with a group all summer, but they are heading to a bigger event in Illinois. There were 10 of them from 5 schools, I'm really glad they were with us this summer. So alas, the end is somewhat in sight. We have one location left. We are heading to Lee University on Thursday for two weeks before we finish up in Joplin for a week or so. I need to let God use me to make this the most incredible two weeks ever. I will try to do a few more posts when I get there. Thanks for reading.

In Him,
Adam

Ohhhh, I get it!

So I guess this post has one purpose. Today was a verrrrry long day. It was our first day of conferences here at Holland. In my last post I posed the question as to why God was putting these certain people into my life. Well I think I am starting to understand the answer there. HOWEVER. It's late, and I have been up since who knows when, I will post the conclusion to this e-mail as soon as I can. Today was simply uncredible. From forming new relationtiops, to working with ones I have. Between praying with a bunch of teens all day, to really going crazy during worship, it has been one heck of a day... and I thank my King of Kings for it all... Let me tell you, regardless of what happens, your days are like you let them be... I mean that. To be continued.... Peace and Love.

Adam

On the road again...

Well here I sit in the quaint little town of Holland Michigan. We're pretty North here right off of lake Michigan. We drove for 14 hours on Thursday, even though it felt like 29791797493 hours. We arrived a day early on purpose, one, so that we didn't have to spend another pointless random day in the office, and two, so that we could get to know the area we would be working in this week. Part of us getting to know the area was of course, hitting the beach! Now the funny thing here is I thought the same thing you were thinking when I said the word beach. Oh... He's at the lake, I guess you could call that a beach. WRONG. This beach looked like any other beach I have seen on the ocean minus the bigger waves. So it was a really nice thing to be able to do, just to relax before two very hard days. If you know me at all, you know how much I love being able to hit the beach. So on Saturday and Sunday we unloaded the truck and set up the stage and lights, sound, etc... This was a HUGE unload, and there was only a few of us. It took sooooo much time, and soooo much hard work. I am so exhausted from setting up for two days strait. I'm glad we got some free time tonight before the conference starts tomorrow. Once again, I am the extraverted people person, so I am automatically in charge of the welcoming committee. I love that job to tell you te truth. I'm not sure if I've explained it before, but it so fun to jump into some random church van right when they get to CIY and just pray with them, then tear them out of the van and give them all kind of games to play. I guess my personality fits the job right. But lets go ahead and talk about this for one second. If you are reading this blog, you most likely have an idea of my personality. I love people, I love to talk and interact with people, I guess I thought I was pretty likeable. Well, for some reason, God keeps putting a certain kind of person in my life. This last year my roomate was the polar oposite. I didn't think he liked well...people... he was just mean... but not to everyone... but he was to me. He hated extraverted, free spirited people. It was nearly impossible for me all year to live with him... I really thought that he just hated happiness altogether, but he is a human just like the rest of us, there has to be a reason for it. It's really hard when I run into people like that who just openly don't like you. I always wondered why God would room me wiith someone like that. I guess you could say I was pretty excited to get away from that after the semester.. ONLY TO HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME THIS SUMMER. The guy I am working with, and traveling with all summer has a lot of the same qualities. It has been hard for me to get along with him since I have gotten here. I guess another problem is my mentality of the whole thing. Why would someone just not like people just because they talk, or are outgoing? Why is it the only two people I have ever met that I couldn't get along with if I tried have been roomates? What does God feel about these relationships? What does loving this person look like? I am tired of asking these questions every single day. I've tried and tried and tried, and just continue to get treated like crap. And you know how it goes, when one person with a bully attitude thinks they can treat you that way, so can others... I know God couldn't want it like this....There have been times this summer where I have almost decided to not talk anymore. Join the club of people who keep to themselves and just speak when they have something really important to say, but I guess that's just not me. Ever had anyone just hate you for no reason? Ever hated your own personality at times because of it? I wouldn't even write it in here if it wasn't effecting me. I still am going to stick with the beliefs of knowingn God gave me this personality so I can talk to kids without feeling scared or nervous. I guess I was given one of the spiritual gifts of evangelism... Just not sure why these people are in my life, and how I am supposed to react to them... I do know that God is good though. It is certainly time to keep my head clear, and prepare for another week of broken hearts. Please keep me in your prayers, I will need all of them. and PLEASE. If you have something going on in your life, please let me pray for you as well. It is a few people that are reading these, and it's people very close to me. It's some powerful stuff, I do know that. Thank you. In Him.

-Adam.

In the wise words of DMX. "Lord gimme a sign"

So, I guess you could consider what I am doing right now a vacation. It is Saturday, and I am sitting in Panera enjoying a wonderful Italian Sub, some cheddar and brocholli soup and some decent music. I got to sleep in today, and I got to go for a nice run after I woke up! I know you are all saying, "wow, you are so lucky," but you know what, this enjoyment came at a price! Thursday was our last conference day in Indiana. The whole day was so long, but incredible. I saw kids that wouldn't even talk on Monday freak out in worship. Oh the difference a week makes. Anywho, on thursday we ended celebration at like 1030. From then on we loaded up our truck to take it to michigan. I finished packing the truck at 3:30. I then had to go into my room to pack, I got to sleep at about 5. Of course, this is only to wake up at 730. Any no, I couldn't just wake up like a normal person, We had to wake up by having Jayson come into our rooms like a drill sergeant. We finally packed up in the rain, and then spend 9 hours in the car. The car was packed so I couldn't sleep. I am now back in Joplin after probably 12 hours of sleep. I can't tell you how incredible this down time is. It is much much much needed. But it's been good, I had a pretty crazy conversation with God during worship on Thursday. He told me something pretty clearly... So I argued with him... Because I'm stubborn. I don't really want to do what I think he wants me to do if that makes any sense. I will though, because well... he's driving. It's hard sometimes to distinguish what is a command from God, and your own mind. So in this conversation, I was being a jerk and said to God, "God, I don't know if that is you or me saying this!, please give me a sign!" It was probably 5 seconds later that I got a very clear sign. Pretty crazy... Maybe someday I will tell you what he told me. But that will be after I am willing to accept it first... Anywho, I'm going to continue relaxing for the weekend. Keep Lovin,
Adam.

Identity Crisis

I'm going to need to make this one quick, it's pretty late, and it's been a real long day. Today was our first full day of our second week in Anderson, Indiana. I hosted more basketball tournaments today, they went really well, but there were so many kids. My voice is pretty much shot from yelling out teams. It's incredible how this school has a 15 million dollar field house, and no megaphone or something. The main point of my post comes from something I witnessed tonight. Have you ever had something happen that was so absolutely insignificant, but it just hits you in a way you can't describe? Tonight during celebration there was a video of a kid walking through his high school. As he walked down the hall, there were words on the heads of the people he saw. Some of the words said, "jock" or "slut". Some of the other words said "nerd", "punk", "player", "#14" (referring to what that girl meant to the player). It's hard to give a visual of this, but imagine walking down the halls of a high school and knowing all of these kids are given a label. The key word in that sentence was GIVEN. Most of these kids fall into these stereotypes, and what they are deemed, is what they are. The message tonight was about having an identity in Christ. The message explained about how we are ONE in Christ, we are the body, we are who we are, not who the rest of the world tells us we are. Anyway, we did this thing tonight where all the teens brought a mask with them into session, which they decorated to explain their personalities. What they did with them during worship was drop them in these cans that were placed throughout the room. They would later be used to be stapled onto a wall into a giant hand. But one of my jobs was getting these giant bags full of faces and bringing them onto the stage. The very first kid to come to the can, just took off his mask, and looked at it. He looked as his mask in a way similar to how someone would look into a mirror. He was looking deeper than just the skin. With all he had, he dropped it into the can, and said a word or two, it seemed to me like he was saying goodbye. Now I'm not quite sure, but that hit me in a way that I can't explain. I know this kids whole life, he was labeled. Who knows what his label was, but he knew that people had seen his appearance, and known about his life, and they had put a word on his face. It's an intense feeling seeing someone drop that crappy view the world has of them, and picking up a cross instead. Almost as to say, the mask is gone, this is what I have now? I dare you to tell me who I am. So once again, something, just a small thing, will have a lasting impact on my life. For the rest of the night I did security rounds, which was a real good time. This youth group invited me to their group for pizza and guitar hero. I've been hanging out with these guys for just a few days, but already I know God put me on their hall for security for a reason. Just talking with them tonight about life was amazing, it's just one of those things that reassures me that ministry is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. Thanks for reading, keep loving. -Adam

A whole summer of this?

It is pretty incredible how the longer into the summer I go, the more confusing most of my post's become. I'm finding out more and more that I don't really know things I thought I did. I also know I know some things now, that I never knew before. And that's about all I do know... Follow? So yesterday was the last day of our first conference. Most of the day went really well. I got to work at about 730, and Immediately started getting to work for Morning session. Right after that I had to start preparing for the Dodge ball Tournament that I would throw at about 3. There were about 300 kids in the tournament, but it went soooo well. I had good help, and I got to use a lot of my skills from doing that stuff at the YMCA when I worked there. It definitely made me miss my old job the more I think about it. Anyway, I had lots of help for the tourn, so that was very helpful. I really felt like that was where I really got to shine, organizing something like that, and executing it flawlessly. After that I went back to my room for a shower, and when I have the opportunity to go back to my room during the day, than it is definitely a good day. I made my way to the auditorium for our last "celebration". Most of the time I got to be in the actual auditorium instead of backstage because of stuff I got to do, and that was perfect. The message was the first thing I must talk about. Jayson French, the Director I am traveling with all summer gave the message. It was hands down the best message I have ever heard. That is a very bold statement I know, but it hit right in the heart. The message was about how we are so caught up in stupid stuff, stupid battles, stupid logistics, stupid excuses, and our own stupid selves to see what God tells us it all really comes down to... LOVE. The message was about how Christians are all falling short because we truly and genuinely do not know how to love. Throughout the message he would explain all these reasons why the church isn't flourishing, then he would say, "nope, that's not it... but this is..." and he would give another reason. Finally he just said. You know what, I know what the reason is. I know the reason why Christianity is NOT doing what it's supposed to... it's right here in this box. He talked for a little while, then he pulled out this huge Mirror. It was more powerful than I could say on here, but I was moved. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Following that message it was "decision time" That moment will have an effect on me every time i see it. That's why I'm here. Over 20 kids gave their life to Christ for the first time. Over 50 kids were rededicated to make God their leader and forgiver of their lives. And Finally over 30 kids had decided to go into ministry full time. So of course after such an emotionally moving sermon, and after decisions you could just guess who had to go on stage next... you guessed it... ME. heh. I had to go on and finish with a prose poetry that went along with the sermon... It was so amazing standing on that stage alone, and just looking out at the hundreds of kids, looking into their eyes, and for one last time, seeing myself again . After the poetry We all went into the auditorium for the closing worship. It was the best worship I have witnessed I think ever. There was this last song called Shout Unto God they played second to last. The words go "the enemy's been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gunna lift our voice in victory, we're gunna make our praises loud... SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF TRIUMPH, SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF PRAISE, SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF TRIUMPH, WE LIFT YOUR NAME UP, WE LIFT YOUR NAME UP! Oh man... there was not one fist not in the air. Everyone was screaming, crying, singing, everyone... Imagine seeing that. It's hard to grasp. So today I have a half day, then another conference starts tomorrow. I can quickly see how emotionally and physically draining this summer is going to be. I know I say it a lot, but it really asks for so much of each of us. Jayson is calling each of us into the lobby for our "intern evaluations" right now, I think I am coming up soon. So we'll see how it goes. Until then I need to do some CRAZY amount of laundry. I'm running low. I can't wait to describe some of this stuff to everyone when I get back, it's so much easier in person. Anyway, continue to keep me in your prayers. God Bless.

The rollercoaster ride...

So let me start from the top. I know it has been quite some time since my last blog. This has not been because I have not had the will, or because I forgot, but simply because for the first time ever, I really had absolutely no time... So we drove from Joplin Saturday morning. It was a 10 hour drive, but it wasn't so bad. We got to stop in St. Louis for a little while which was a new experience. It was pretty cramped with Jason French's (CIY Director) Whole family in the van too, but their company was very enjoyable. We arrived late Saturday, did a Wal-Mart run, then jumped into bed. The next morning was the first long morning. We had to unload the whole 18 Wheel Semi and set up all the equipment and stage. I thought because we had to do all of that, that it was going to be the hardest day of the week. Boy was I wrong. Ever since we started the conference, it has just been one crazy emotional rollercoaster. I'm not talking about your average wooden coaster either, I'm talking one of those coasters that go up to where you start to lose gravity, and then spirals a million miles an hour down into the crust of the earth. The first thing I was in charge of was welcomeing committee for all of the churches. Basically when a church got here (Anderson Indiana) we would greet the youth pastors, help them get to registration, pray with the whole group, then take them out of their vans and play games with them. Well this is a smaller week and there were 35 Churches, so it was very crazy. Luckily working for me I had Bible College Reps. Basically these college kids travel around with us and in exchange for us letting them showcase their college to the high school kids, They work for us. They are all so much fun, I really enjoy all of their company. They are from all over the country, so it is also interesting just hearing about all these cool places around the country. After that I am responsible for many things happening on stage. I'm back stage making things work. I also ran a huge basketball tornament Tuesday, and A large talent show yesterday. PS. For all my peeps back home. Please tell all of these people it is pronounced TORN-UH-MENT. For come crazy reason they keep bustin my guns telling me it is TURN-UH-MENT! So on a more serious note. I can't begin to explain my day yesterday, or any day for that matter, so I will do what I can. We worked probably 14 plus hours and I had enough time for a quick lunch but that was it. Going to bed at probably 1 because of having to do security rounds at night, and waking up at 6:40. It is the first time we have done the conference so it is all new for us. Constantly taking orders, constantly running around, constantly instructing BC staff, constantly learning new things, constantly messing up. It is incredibly hard, frustrating, and most of all tiring. But here is where the other side comes in. At the same time, there is nothing more rewarding. Yesterday, honestly, I just felt like crying. Unfortunately I couldn't cry if I tried, but here is as close as I can come to explaining how I felt. Women I think will understand this more. Have you just had so much going on, have you even just been so emotionally stressed, and so confused and tired that you just want to cry, well it was a lot like that. Three things changed my life that night. The first: To get into the back of the auditorium from backstage you need go outside and walk around. I was so frustrated to the point where I wanted to just forget about being Christian for just like five minutes and just swear someone out. Some of you may frown upon me saying that, but if you say you have never felt that way before than I'm certain you are lying. Anyway, just after I walked outside, I saw this girl outside just balling her eyes out. With this girl were two of her sponsors just praying over here. This girl was being so broken. I looked over, and I saw myself three years ago. It took just that one second of thinking about it before I felt like absolute skum. I realized real quick that this wasn't about me. I may have been frustrated, but through my hard work, and pain, and frustration, this girl is seeing Jesus's face clearly for the first time... So I make my way inside finally, and the speaker was incredible. SHE delivered a message like I never have before. I caught up with her later and just explained that I had never seen a women so captivating. (disclaimer: what was the most incredible thing for me is the odds women in ministry have with really being able to make the room hers and preach it her way) These kids were so touched by her message that I would say half of the room was praying or crying with someone else in the room. I can't tell you how many kids made a decision to come to Christ that night, but I can tell you I couldn't see a whole lot of the floor up front... And the third thing, as I was talking through the auditorum that night A teen had stopped me. This is a teen I had challeneged on an earlier day to stop me and pray with me if he ever sees me. So he came up to me and was like, "dude, can we pray" and we did. It was incredible. I prayed for him, he prayed for my strength, I could not have needed it any more. God always provides, we just may never see it that way. So as You can see, this has been a true rollercoaster for me. This morning went really well, and now for the first time I have a little free time to write this blog, do a devo, read the work and finallllllly nap a little bit! FINALLY!! WOO HOO! But anyway, it will be good for me. There are a million other things I could write right now, but for the sake of carpeltunnel I will let you go. If you could keep me in your prayers that would be incredible, I really could use every one I can get. Thank you so much for reading. God Bless.

-His Servant,
Adam

Quick POST!

So I will post again in a day or so, I just wanted to give another quick update. I am now in Anderson, Indiana. We are throwing our first conference on Monday, and this last week has been the longest week of my life. My last day in Indiana, I was just about to start packing when the Tornado Sirens went off in the town. We all had to go to the basement because one had touched down real close. So that was crazy exciting, I just had to put it into a post. God has done some crazyyy things this last week, I will let you all know soon! Keep reading! Thanks! Adam.

The storms are rolling in.

DISCLAIMER: This post was done in the midst of a rough night and major fatigue, sorry if it's not the clearest. I judt didn't care about grammar or structure, it's all over the place. So if you have a.d.d. than this post is for you.

I have hit a spot where I know the closer I get to seeing God more clearly, the harder The "God of this World" will try to fog up my life for me, and that is how this week has been. I wasn't quite sure if it was possible for work to get any harder... but it did. This whole last week minus one day we got huge thunderstorms, and rain, and more rain... This of course slowed down our work bigtime. We worked just as hard, but it really cripled us all to have to work inside in smaller workspaces. Wednesday we moved two whole sets into Memorial Hall, which is their town hall/theatre/gym/everything space. These sets are huge, they take up about the space of two semi trucks when completely packed and it took up plenty of our time. On top of that we have been learning all of the acting parts for the conferences as well. There is still so much work to be done, and it is hard to believe that I will be hitting the road one week from today for Anderson, Indiana for our first conference. Now to the part of my life that has been all over the place. I want to try to explain this kind of cosmic duelism that is existing in my life on a daily basis. Some of you may understand how when you strive for God more, obviously Satan is wanting to slow you down even more. The positive part of the situation is the intense amount of growth and stretching happening to me. Between being away from home, and going out there and working hard for the Kingdom, there are some more factors to the growing. Picture this: Think of yourself around the Christian you know with the most wisdom. This person may be your senior pastor, a family member, or just someone who just has "been there and done that" many times before. Now picture yourself also with the Christian you know with the most passion. That person whose heart breaks for Christ. The person who is just so visibly in love that it is absolutely contagous. Now the last thing I want you to visualize is being around twenty people like that all the time. C.I.Y. is an extremely gifted and passionate organization. I feel like every time I turn around I am learning a new lesson from a staff member, or from another intern, or whoever it may be. It's pretty awesome really learning to be wrong for the first time, I mean reallllly learning how to be wrong. It's incredible to learn that it's not about me. Every day I feel one day stronger than the day before. It wasn't until the last two nights where I finally felt the attacks against me. Sometimes when you surround yourself with such people it becomes very easy to not feel sufficient enough. Of course a terrific trick to make us feel that way, but lethal none the less. When you are in a group as large as 23, it sometimes becomes easy to be left out, or to not quite know your identity. I just have to keep remembering my identity is in Christ, and the rest will just happen. The second attack came to me tonight, and it was a real rough blow. I had in a round about way found out about a close friend from home coming down on me for talking about scripture among them, and busting out my Word when I am around other Christians. It is hard for me to explain the complete situation, it was just something very hurtful tonight, I am still sorting through it. The Word of God is our life. It's the story of our past. It is the guiding light in a world of darkness. It is the answer to all problems. It is the source of everything good. I refuse to believe that pulling it out among all "Christians" is a problem. It is incredible to see believers getting excited about the words our King of Kings speaks. I will always understand that it can make non-believers uncomfortable. I understand you can never shove God down anyones throat. But I strongly think the Bible is something we should NEVER be ashamed of. For the two people that defended that point in my place, you know who you are. Thank you sincrerely. Not just for defending me, but for defending what you know as right,as true... So that was my happenings tonight. I am sure I will persevere through it. I will be working again tomorrow on Saturday, then I think I will take a trip to Kansas City, so that should be cool. I am really interested to hear anyones thoughts on the pulling out of the Word of God among Christians in a non-Bible study setting. Any stories/ comments would mean a lot to me. Keep loving.

-Adam

Quick Update!

I have two awesome updates. Tonight after going to dinner, a bunch of us went down to this beautiful waterfall not too far from the college. The sun was just setting, and the sound of the water and the frogs was just incredible. The view was breathtaking as the sky turned a thousand shades of red. I brought a jembe and Corey brought his guitar and we did a little worship set. It was just a very surreal night. God is so good. Second of all......I finally know some locations I will be this summer!!! Woo Hoo! Here some of them are!

June 11-15 - Anderson University, Anderson, Indiana.
June 17-21 - Anderson University, Anderson, Indiana.
July 2-6 - Hope College, Holland Michigan.
July 9-13 - C.I.Y. Offices, Joplin, Missouri
July 16-20 - Lee University, Holland, Tennessee.
July 22-26 - Lee University, Holland, Tennessee.

In Him,
Adam

Expecting the Unexpected...

I guess you could say that inspiration can many times come from some of the most unlikely places. I have probably learned more this week than many years combined, and the funny thing is, I have been told nothing new. The last week has been quite consistent. We have been working very hard to get the sets ready to hit the road. Let me give you a little bit of idea of the context in which I have been working in. All of the interns have finally arrived, most of them arrived Sunday and Monday. There are twenty-three of us in all. We consist of sixteen regular interns (8 guys, 8 girls), 5 tech interns, and 2 student interns. It is somewhat stereotypical of how the work is separated. The ladies do all of the administrative work (most of the time) and the guys do most of the grunt work (which requires an immense amount of organization as well). This week I have been building the major props for the sets. I do my work outside for more room. It has been about 90 degrees with the heat index, so that alone working all day for a week is really draining. It is really easy to become frustrated with the work. However, I must explain how I received this great guidance and inspiration. Every Wednesday we have a devotional with one of the staff members. Last week it was Andy Hanson, the President of C.I.Y., and this week was Robin Cigars. I saw him speak at both of the events I attended at Milligan in Tennessee. He spoke the night I gave my life to Christ at a C.I.Y. event. He sat us down at this huge conference room table, looked us all right in the eyes with a look that I have seen before. It's that look someone gives when you know they mean business. It's the look someone gets before they get angry, or before they just found out some incredible news. I had no idea what to expect. He looked at us for another second, and started out by saying very firmly... "you all need to know this... this summer... this summer is NOT about you." He continued, "this work is going to be hard, real hard, but we are workmen for God. He has given us the strength to make this happen. This conference is about God, this conference is about these lost, broken and confused teens." I could never quite capture the passion that was in the words he spoke simply by typing them. He talked to us for about fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes in which I am not sure I blinked once. I was reminded in an instant of when I was in C.I.Y. only three short years ago. I didn't know God, I didn't know anything, I had no direction. But someone who was in the position that I have now, humbled down and made this event happen for me. If they didn't decide to duck down behind the scenes and work hard, I mean real hard... I would not be here right now. I wouldn't be at CCV, I probably would not know Christ in any way like I do now. How powerful is that? Our King of Kings pours such incredible love, grace and strength on us that we can undoubtedly achieve the seemingly unachievable. We can love the unlovable. We can work for 16 hours strait in the sun, loading and unloading, packing and unpacking, setting up and tearing down. And you know what... we can do all of that with NO credit. That is the beautiful thing of being a servant. In Greek the word is doula. Doula is the modern version of the Greek word for a slave or servant. We are called to be a servant, or even a slave for Christ. It's a powerful idea. You never know when someone saying something that has been said before, but with such incredible passion will effect your life. You should always expect the unexpected. I am really happy to be here. I know I am supposed to be here, and I know I am learning. I already feel like I am best friends with many of the interns already. We did this awesome scavenger hunt with all of the C.I.Y staff in three vans with video cameras, it was a lot of fun. Our team won of course, unfortunately I had to eat butter to do so... not so fun... We also had an evening where all the guy interns went to this staff members house and has burgers on the grill and stuff. We played horseshoes and "redneck golf". It's a really fun game with two balls connected with a rope and you must wrap it around these poles in the distance. I am 3 for 3 so far, so we will see how it goes. So it is about 11pm right now and I am so tired. I never thought I would say that. On a side note. I have slept better since I have been here, than I have my whole life. I have had such a clear and care free mind, and I have worked all day, and just been so tired that when I lay down I am OUT. heh. Many of you know this feeling. This is very new to me. Most people who know me know that I don't sleep, so this has just been incredible. I get up at 6:30 no problem. The last time I can remember being able to just fall asleep when I lay in bed was CIY 3 years ago. God is so good. So feel free to shoot me a comment! All of your prayers have been so vital in the incredible things God is doing in my life. And I thank you all with everything in my heart I hope all of you can feel some day how I feel now. Peace & Love.

-Adam

Currently reading Everyones Normal Until You Get to Know Them by John Ortberg.
John gives us this incredible idea of Christian Community like I have never heard it explained before. We are called to be ONE. He explains how the word Shalom is used in Scripture. It is the community that we are supposed to live in with each other. It's how we should love each other with sheer Agape. The agape that a mother has for her new-born child. The agape that Christ had for us to die for us. If we begin to recognize the fact that we are all imperfect, and we come "as is", then we can learn to grow with each other to work on those many deficiencies we all posses.

learning to serve...

There is no doubt in my mind that I was definitely meant to read my devotion for the day today. Today was I guess you could say not quite how I expected today to go I guess you could say. Right now I am partaking in a part of the internship known a "zero week." Basically the few of us that arrived early (about 7 of us) prepare for the coming of the rest of the interns. Let me take you back to my day of travel yesterday before I continue. Of course it was never fun saying goodbye to Meliss for 3 months, then a I found my way to Charlotte, NC. That flight was delayed. I hung out in Charlotte in their very nice airport, then got to my terminal to find a Express flight. It was a quite small plane, but it was the smoothest flight I have ever been on. I want to give you all at home a visual of what I am seeing. Philadelphia airport..HUGE. Charlottes Airport...HUGE. Fayettevile Arkansas airport... not too huge. It was actually funny. The baggage claim was actually the same thing as the check-in, check-out, ticketing, and the main lobby. So from there I got picked up by another intern and brought to his apartment to stay for the night. Only to be somewhere else tonight, and somewhere else in a few days. (so much for unpacking) NOW to the part of my blog where I tell you why I am really glad I read my devotion today. Just to give you an idea, the title of my devotion for the day was "the habit of enjoying adversity." Today was hard. No introductions, no lessons, no instructions, just strait to work... hard work! All day we were lifting stuff, and building stuff. Just a ton of work that is incredibly tedious and almost pointless. But this has all been for the better for these reasons. The devotion I read told us about how no matter how difficult something may be, I must say "Lord, I am delighted to obey you." And that is the attitude we must have! Although our life events don't always line up with our expectations, we still must continue to rejoice in our Father... I know the tedious work I am doing will all pay off when we hit the road, and start showing these kids God. It is an incredible humbling job, and even if it sucks, we should take Joy in being A True Servant. God tells us in Philippians 4:19 that "my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. How awesome is that? If we just continue to have faith in the Lord provision, then it's allllll good! The relief I am being told is that things change a lot when the rest of the interns arrive, and changes even more when we hit the road. So it should make for some interesting times. Peace & Love.

Flora.

ps. We got our first crazy thunder/rainstorm today, came out of nowhere!

Let the adventure begin

So I guess I had not thought that my first few lessons would be happening before I even got the oppertunity to jump on a flight. I leave tomorrow at 3:45pm from Philly into Charlotte, NC. From there I am taking a smaller plane to Fayetteville, Arkansas. That plane will probably be about the size of my civic, and should be interesting! Some other interns will pick me up from there, and take me to Joplin, Missouri. I will be staying there for a few weeks for training. So this weekend woke me up to a lot of things that I did not really expect. I spent a lot of time this weekend with the people that matter in my life. I went to the only place worth going to in the summer with Melissa... Ocean City, NJ! Then I hung out with the family for the remaining time. It hit me real hard how easy it is to take advantage of the people that are always there for us, the people that actually care how we are, the people that are actually reading my blog. heh. Anyway, we can never just "get used to" those people that love us. It's okay to let them know we really appriciate how much they really do care about us... I have a feeling this is going to be a trip full of lessons. I'm ready to serve God any way I can! I will continue to pray for not only my trip, but for what God will do on this adventure. It would be incredible if you would too... Lets get this thing started...

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