In the wise words of DMX. "Lord gimme a sign"

So, I guess you could consider what I am doing right now a vacation. It is Saturday, and I am sitting in Panera enjoying a wonderful Italian Sub, some cheddar and brocholli soup and some decent music. I got to sleep in today, and I got to go for a nice run after I woke up! I know you are all saying, "wow, you are so lucky," but you know what, this enjoyment came at a price! Thursday was our last conference day in Indiana. The whole day was so long, but incredible. I saw kids that wouldn't even talk on Monday freak out in worship. Oh the difference a week makes. Anywho, on thursday we ended celebration at like 1030. From then on we loaded up our truck to take it to michigan. I finished packing the truck at 3:30. I then had to go into my room to pack, I got to sleep at about 5. Of course, this is only to wake up at 730. Any no, I couldn't just wake up like a normal person, We had to wake up by having Jayson come into our rooms like a drill sergeant. We finally packed up in the rain, and then spend 9 hours in the car. The car was packed so I couldn't sleep. I am now back in Joplin after probably 12 hours of sleep. I can't tell you how incredible this down time is. It is much much much needed. But it's been good, I had a pretty crazy conversation with God during worship on Thursday. He told me something pretty clearly... So I argued with him... Because I'm stubborn. I don't really want to do what I think he wants me to do if that makes any sense. I will though, because well... he's driving. It's hard sometimes to distinguish what is a command from God, and your own mind. So in this conversation, I was being a jerk and said to God, "God, I don't know if that is you or me saying this!, please give me a sign!" It was probably 5 seconds later that I got a very clear sign. Pretty crazy... Maybe someday I will tell you what he told me. But that will be after I am willing to accept it first... Anywho, I'm going to continue relaxing for the weekend. Keep Lovin,
Adam.

Identity Crisis

I'm going to need to make this one quick, it's pretty late, and it's been a real long day. Today was our first full day of our second week in Anderson, Indiana. I hosted more basketball tournaments today, they went really well, but there were so many kids. My voice is pretty much shot from yelling out teams. It's incredible how this school has a 15 million dollar field house, and no megaphone or something. The main point of my post comes from something I witnessed tonight. Have you ever had something happen that was so absolutely insignificant, but it just hits you in a way you can't describe? Tonight during celebration there was a video of a kid walking through his high school. As he walked down the hall, there were words on the heads of the people he saw. Some of the words said, "jock" or "slut". Some of the other words said "nerd", "punk", "player", "#14" (referring to what that girl meant to the player). It's hard to give a visual of this, but imagine walking down the halls of a high school and knowing all of these kids are given a label. The key word in that sentence was GIVEN. Most of these kids fall into these stereotypes, and what they are deemed, is what they are. The message tonight was about having an identity in Christ. The message explained about how we are ONE in Christ, we are the body, we are who we are, not who the rest of the world tells us we are. Anyway, we did this thing tonight where all the teens brought a mask with them into session, which they decorated to explain their personalities. What they did with them during worship was drop them in these cans that were placed throughout the room. They would later be used to be stapled onto a wall into a giant hand. But one of my jobs was getting these giant bags full of faces and bringing them onto the stage. The very first kid to come to the can, just took off his mask, and looked at it. He looked as his mask in a way similar to how someone would look into a mirror. He was looking deeper than just the skin. With all he had, he dropped it into the can, and said a word or two, it seemed to me like he was saying goodbye. Now I'm not quite sure, but that hit me in a way that I can't explain. I know this kids whole life, he was labeled. Who knows what his label was, but he knew that people had seen his appearance, and known about his life, and they had put a word on his face. It's an intense feeling seeing someone drop that crappy view the world has of them, and picking up a cross instead. Almost as to say, the mask is gone, this is what I have now? I dare you to tell me who I am. So once again, something, just a small thing, will have a lasting impact on my life. For the rest of the night I did security rounds, which was a real good time. This youth group invited me to their group for pizza and guitar hero. I've been hanging out with these guys for just a few days, but already I know God put me on their hall for security for a reason. Just talking with them tonight about life was amazing, it's just one of those things that reassures me that ministry is what I will be doing for the rest of my life. Thanks for reading, keep loving. -Adam

A whole summer of this?

It is pretty incredible how the longer into the summer I go, the more confusing most of my post's become. I'm finding out more and more that I don't really know things I thought I did. I also know I know some things now, that I never knew before. And that's about all I do know... Follow? So yesterday was the last day of our first conference. Most of the day went really well. I got to work at about 730, and Immediately started getting to work for Morning session. Right after that I had to start preparing for the Dodge ball Tournament that I would throw at about 3. There were about 300 kids in the tournament, but it went soooo well. I had good help, and I got to use a lot of my skills from doing that stuff at the YMCA when I worked there. It definitely made me miss my old job the more I think about it. Anyway, I had lots of help for the tourn, so that was very helpful. I really felt like that was where I really got to shine, organizing something like that, and executing it flawlessly. After that I went back to my room for a shower, and when I have the opportunity to go back to my room during the day, than it is definitely a good day. I made my way to the auditorium for our last "celebration". Most of the time I got to be in the actual auditorium instead of backstage because of stuff I got to do, and that was perfect. The message was the first thing I must talk about. Jayson French, the Director I am traveling with all summer gave the message. It was hands down the best message I have ever heard. That is a very bold statement I know, but it hit right in the heart. The message was about how we are so caught up in stupid stuff, stupid battles, stupid logistics, stupid excuses, and our own stupid selves to see what God tells us it all really comes down to... LOVE. The message was about how Christians are all falling short because we truly and genuinely do not know how to love. Throughout the message he would explain all these reasons why the church isn't flourishing, then he would say, "nope, that's not it... but this is..." and he would give another reason. Finally he just said. You know what, I know what the reason is. I know the reason why Christianity is NOT doing what it's supposed to... it's right here in this box. He talked for a little while, then he pulled out this huge Mirror. It was more powerful than I could say on here, but I was moved. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. Following that message it was "decision time" That moment will have an effect on me every time i see it. That's why I'm here. Over 20 kids gave their life to Christ for the first time. Over 50 kids were rededicated to make God their leader and forgiver of their lives. And Finally over 30 kids had decided to go into ministry full time. So of course after such an emotionally moving sermon, and after decisions you could just guess who had to go on stage next... you guessed it... ME. heh. I had to go on and finish with a prose poetry that went along with the sermon... It was so amazing standing on that stage alone, and just looking out at the hundreds of kids, looking into their eyes, and for one last time, seeing myself again . After the poetry We all went into the auditorium for the closing worship. It was the best worship I have witnessed I think ever. There was this last song called Shout Unto God they played second to last. The words go "the enemy's been defeated, death couldn't hold you down, we're gunna lift our voice in victory, we're gunna make our praises loud... SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF TRIUMPH, SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF PRAISE, SHOUT OUT TO GOD WITH A VOICE OF TRIUMPH, WE LIFT YOUR NAME UP, WE LIFT YOUR NAME UP! Oh man... there was not one fist not in the air. Everyone was screaming, crying, singing, everyone... Imagine seeing that. It's hard to grasp. So today I have a half day, then another conference starts tomorrow. I can quickly see how emotionally and physically draining this summer is going to be. I know I say it a lot, but it really asks for so much of each of us. Jayson is calling each of us into the lobby for our "intern evaluations" right now, I think I am coming up soon. So we'll see how it goes. Until then I need to do some CRAZY amount of laundry. I'm running low. I can't wait to describe some of this stuff to everyone when I get back, it's so much easier in person. Anyway, continue to keep me in your prayers. God Bless.

The rollercoaster ride...

So let me start from the top. I know it has been quite some time since my last blog. This has not been because I have not had the will, or because I forgot, but simply because for the first time ever, I really had absolutely no time... So we drove from Joplin Saturday morning. It was a 10 hour drive, but it wasn't so bad. We got to stop in St. Louis for a little while which was a new experience. It was pretty cramped with Jason French's (CIY Director) Whole family in the van too, but their company was very enjoyable. We arrived late Saturday, did a Wal-Mart run, then jumped into bed. The next morning was the first long morning. We had to unload the whole 18 Wheel Semi and set up all the equipment and stage. I thought because we had to do all of that, that it was going to be the hardest day of the week. Boy was I wrong. Ever since we started the conference, it has just been one crazy emotional rollercoaster. I'm not talking about your average wooden coaster either, I'm talking one of those coasters that go up to where you start to lose gravity, and then spirals a million miles an hour down into the crust of the earth. The first thing I was in charge of was welcomeing committee for all of the churches. Basically when a church got here (Anderson Indiana) we would greet the youth pastors, help them get to registration, pray with the whole group, then take them out of their vans and play games with them. Well this is a smaller week and there were 35 Churches, so it was very crazy. Luckily working for me I had Bible College Reps. Basically these college kids travel around with us and in exchange for us letting them showcase their college to the high school kids, They work for us. They are all so much fun, I really enjoy all of their company. They are from all over the country, so it is also interesting just hearing about all these cool places around the country. After that I am responsible for many things happening on stage. I'm back stage making things work. I also ran a huge basketball tornament Tuesday, and A large talent show yesterday. PS. For all my peeps back home. Please tell all of these people it is pronounced TORN-UH-MENT. For come crazy reason they keep bustin my guns telling me it is TURN-UH-MENT! So on a more serious note. I can't begin to explain my day yesterday, or any day for that matter, so I will do what I can. We worked probably 14 plus hours and I had enough time for a quick lunch but that was it. Going to bed at probably 1 because of having to do security rounds at night, and waking up at 6:40. It is the first time we have done the conference so it is all new for us. Constantly taking orders, constantly running around, constantly instructing BC staff, constantly learning new things, constantly messing up. It is incredibly hard, frustrating, and most of all tiring. But here is where the other side comes in. At the same time, there is nothing more rewarding. Yesterday, honestly, I just felt like crying. Unfortunately I couldn't cry if I tried, but here is as close as I can come to explaining how I felt. Women I think will understand this more. Have you just had so much going on, have you even just been so emotionally stressed, and so confused and tired that you just want to cry, well it was a lot like that. Three things changed my life that night. The first: To get into the back of the auditorium from backstage you need go outside and walk around. I was so frustrated to the point where I wanted to just forget about being Christian for just like five minutes and just swear someone out. Some of you may frown upon me saying that, but if you say you have never felt that way before than I'm certain you are lying. Anyway, just after I walked outside, I saw this girl outside just balling her eyes out. With this girl were two of her sponsors just praying over here. This girl was being so broken. I looked over, and I saw myself three years ago. It took just that one second of thinking about it before I felt like absolute skum. I realized real quick that this wasn't about me. I may have been frustrated, but through my hard work, and pain, and frustration, this girl is seeing Jesus's face clearly for the first time... So I make my way inside finally, and the speaker was incredible. SHE delivered a message like I never have before. I caught up with her later and just explained that I had never seen a women so captivating. (disclaimer: what was the most incredible thing for me is the odds women in ministry have with really being able to make the room hers and preach it her way) These kids were so touched by her message that I would say half of the room was praying or crying with someone else in the room. I can't tell you how many kids made a decision to come to Christ that night, but I can tell you I couldn't see a whole lot of the floor up front... And the third thing, as I was talking through the auditorum that night A teen had stopped me. This is a teen I had challeneged on an earlier day to stop me and pray with me if he ever sees me. So he came up to me and was like, "dude, can we pray" and we did. It was incredible. I prayed for him, he prayed for my strength, I could not have needed it any more. God always provides, we just may never see it that way. So as You can see, this has been a true rollercoaster for me. This morning went really well, and now for the first time I have a little free time to write this blog, do a devo, read the work and finallllllly nap a little bit! FINALLY!! WOO HOO! But anyway, it will be good for me. There are a million other things I could write right now, but for the sake of carpeltunnel I will let you go. If you could keep me in your prayers that would be incredible, I really could use every one I can get. Thank you so much for reading. God Bless.

-His Servant,
Adam

Quick POST!

So I will post again in a day or so, I just wanted to give another quick update. I am now in Anderson, Indiana. We are throwing our first conference on Monday, and this last week has been the longest week of my life. My last day in Indiana, I was just about to start packing when the Tornado Sirens went off in the town. We all had to go to the basement because one had touched down real close. So that was crazy exciting, I just had to put it into a post. God has done some crazyyy things this last week, I will let you all know soon! Keep reading! Thanks! Adam.

The storms are rolling in.

DISCLAIMER: This post was done in the midst of a rough night and major fatigue, sorry if it's not the clearest. I judt didn't care about grammar or structure, it's all over the place. So if you have a.d.d. than this post is for you.

I have hit a spot where I know the closer I get to seeing God more clearly, the harder The "God of this World" will try to fog up my life for me, and that is how this week has been. I wasn't quite sure if it was possible for work to get any harder... but it did. This whole last week minus one day we got huge thunderstorms, and rain, and more rain... This of course slowed down our work bigtime. We worked just as hard, but it really cripled us all to have to work inside in smaller workspaces. Wednesday we moved two whole sets into Memorial Hall, which is their town hall/theatre/gym/everything space. These sets are huge, they take up about the space of two semi trucks when completely packed and it took up plenty of our time. On top of that we have been learning all of the acting parts for the conferences as well. There is still so much work to be done, and it is hard to believe that I will be hitting the road one week from today for Anderson, Indiana for our first conference. Now to the part of my life that has been all over the place. I want to try to explain this kind of cosmic duelism that is existing in my life on a daily basis. Some of you may understand how when you strive for God more, obviously Satan is wanting to slow you down even more. The positive part of the situation is the intense amount of growth and stretching happening to me. Between being away from home, and going out there and working hard for the Kingdom, there are some more factors to the growing. Picture this: Think of yourself around the Christian you know with the most wisdom. This person may be your senior pastor, a family member, or just someone who just has "been there and done that" many times before. Now picture yourself also with the Christian you know with the most passion. That person whose heart breaks for Christ. The person who is just so visibly in love that it is absolutely contagous. Now the last thing I want you to visualize is being around twenty people like that all the time. C.I.Y. is an extremely gifted and passionate organization. I feel like every time I turn around I am learning a new lesson from a staff member, or from another intern, or whoever it may be. It's pretty awesome really learning to be wrong for the first time, I mean reallllly learning how to be wrong. It's incredible to learn that it's not about me. Every day I feel one day stronger than the day before. It wasn't until the last two nights where I finally felt the attacks against me. Sometimes when you surround yourself with such people it becomes very easy to not feel sufficient enough. Of course a terrific trick to make us feel that way, but lethal none the less. When you are in a group as large as 23, it sometimes becomes easy to be left out, or to not quite know your identity. I just have to keep remembering my identity is in Christ, and the rest will just happen. The second attack came to me tonight, and it was a real rough blow. I had in a round about way found out about a close friend from home coming down on me for talking about scripture among them, and busting out my Word when I am around other Christians. It is hard for me to explain the complete situation, it was just something very hurtful tonight, I am still sorting through it. The Word of God is our life. It's the story of our past. It is the guiding light in a world of darkness. It is the answer to all problems. It is the source of everything good. I refuse to believe that pulling it out among all "Christians" is a problem. It is incredible to see believers getting excited about the words our King of Kings speaks. I will always understand that it can make non-believers uncomfortable. I understand you can never shove God down anyones throat. But I strongly think the Bible is something we should NEVER be ashamed of. For the two people that defended that point in my place, you know who you are. Thank you sincrerely. Not just for defending me, but for defending what you know as right,as true... So that was my happenings tonight. I am sure I will persevere through it. I will be working again tomorrow on Saturday, then I think I will take a trip to Kansas City, so that should be cool. I am really interested to hear anyones thoughts on the pulling out of the Word of God among Christians in a non-Bible study setting. Any stories/ comments would mean a lot to me. Keep loving.

-Adam