So, the infamous question that seems to always come up time and time again. I think to try fully explain the yearnings God has put on my heart throughout this process would almost sell Him short. As most of you already
know when I left for Fiji I was incredibly sick. I was running 104 degrees throughout the whole flight to L.A. and remained ill for the following 3 grueling days of traveling to Sau Bay which was to be my final resting place until May 21st. The first week there, which included by 21st birthday was one of incredible discomfort and hardship. To be completely honest that first week, I did want to come right home. However that feeling didn't last long. After becoming acclimated with the weather and different environment, along with becoming family with the other students instantly made my whole life easier. I can't tell you a time when I felt so dependent on God. We lived off of the land and off of each other. We spent the majority of our time chatting about God, playing with large knives, hiking, snorkeling, kayaking, worshiping and throwing coconuts around the compound. It was incredible, I was home... As you can all guess this wasn't the end for me however. God put something on my heart as heavy as a brick. It's that feeling that something definately isn't right, but I'm not sure what. Some may say I just let emotions get the best of me. But this was so much bigger than that. This was something real, and I was more than willing to listen. After approaching the director I was instructed to take time and really think about all of this. I spent that week in prayer, in the word, and even in quiet meditation down on the beach, trying to understand what God was asking of me. And it was very clear to me all at once that God wanted me at home. This was not easy for me to grasp or understand. It was so hard to get to that place to begin with that I thought that there was no way God would take me out of here if only He was the reason I was
there to begin with. But it was clear. This has happened in my life before, I can only explain it as something that happens to you between a feeling and a vision. Either way, blindly I followed what God had asked of me. The hardest part was knowing that this wasn't possible without opposition. I feel as if everyone there made it incredibly difficult to make that decision, but in the end I submitted and followed God home. By the time I had actually gotten off the island I spent about a month there, and it was the most life changing month of my life. I don't regret going, and I am sure I was there for a reason, I could name hundreds of possible reasons. But for whatever which reasons God called me to be in Collegeville, Pennsylvania for the time being, so here I stay, only to be finally getting some answers now. You must know this is the incredibly abbreviated version. Some of the specifics are still kind of painful to talk about to be honest. It is something I will carry with me forever, and the journey continues....
know when I left for Fiji I was incredibly sick. I was running 104 degrees throughout the whole flight to L.A. and remained ill for the following 3 grueling days of traveling to Sau Bay which was to be my final resting place until May 21st. The first week there, which included by 21st birthday was one of incredible discomfort and hardship. To be completely honest that first week, I did want to come right home. However that feeling didn't last long. After becoming acclimated with the weather and different environment, along with becoming family with the other students instantly made my whole life easier. I can't tell you a time when I felt so dependent on God. We lived off of the land and off of each other. We spent the majority of our time chatting about God, playing with large knives, hiking, snorkeling, kayaking, worshiping and throwing coconuts around the compound. It was incredible, I was home... As you can all guess this wasn't the end for me however. God put something on my heart as heavy as a brick. It's that feeling that something definately isn't right, but I'm not sure what. Some may say I just let emotions get the best of me. But this was so much bigger than that. This was something real, and I was more than willing to listen. After approaching the director I was instructed to take time and really think about all of this. I spent that week in prayer, in the word, and even in quiet meditation down on the beach, trying to understand what God was asking of me. And it was very clear to me all at once that God wanted me at home. This was not easy for me to grasp or understand. It was so hard to get to that place to begin with that I thought that there was no way God would take me out of here if only He was the reason I was 
there to begin with. But it was clear. This has happened in my life before, I can only explain it as something that happens to you between a feeling and a vision. Either way, blindly I followed what God had asked of me. The hardest part was knowing that this wasn't possible without opposition. I feel as if everyone there made it incredibly difficult to make that decision, but in the end I submitted and followed God home. By the time I had actually gotten off the island I spent about a month there, and it was the most life changing month of my life. I don't regret going, and I am sure I was there for a reason, I could name hundreds of possible reasons. But for whatever which reasons God called me to be in Collegeville, Pennsylvania for the time being, so here I stay, only to be finally getting some answers now. You must know this is the incredibly abbreviated version. Some of the specifics are still kind of painful to talk about to be honest. It is something I will carry with me forever, and the journey continues....
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