And Finally Some Answers

I could never ever explain how this last month has turned and twisted to completely reveal how overwhelmingly good our God is. So I left you off with my thoughts coming out of returning home from Fiji. It was a really hard task to come home to so many people who will never quite understand why I even came home to begin with. As I expected I immediately received some words of doubt. I had to listen to people with lots of wisdom whom I looked up to very much tell me very honestly that they believe I made a wrong decision and acted off of emotions. That is hard to listen even if you know they are wrong. I almost convinced myself they were right, then quickly reverted back to the fact that it was a very real thing and they will never understand what was laid on my heart that day. On the other side of things I did receive lots of praise for trusting God even if it makes no sense. Trusting God even if it means losing credits, losing money, and having some question your integrity. So as you can see a little bit of mixed emotions. It hasn't been easy playing the guessing game as to why God would bring me home all this time either. It has been some huge mystery until now that is. There are few distinct things that have happened in the last month that have made me have to sit back and go... wow. If I was still in Fiji, that would not have happened. After jumping on deck with Matt Silver in Student Ministries I got heavily involved. I went to the Pennsylvania Christian Teen Convention with the youth group the day after 3 long days of travel. I started going to all of the meetings, and hanging out with a bunch of students. I then got to spend some time on another trip to Camp Tockwogh to take those relationships to even the next level. While returning from that trip I had a conversation with a student I had taken under my wing for years. He had decided to have me baptize him that very next day at youth group. That very youth group that just so happened to be my very first time speaking the message. Matt had given me the privilege to speak to over 150 students that night about Faith in a world full of Pain. I felt at home. I knew that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Also lining up in my life at the same time was the unexpected adventure that is who I will call Jeff. Jeff was a guy in my small group that I was leading in conjunction with youth group. Jeff told me that he wasn't sure if he was going to make it to all of our meetings because he was going to be homeless in two weeks. This his me hard, and I did everything in my power to find Jeff a home for two solid weeks before landing him an incredible home with a woman to love him like a Mom can the day he lost his home. This may be a small thing to me, or a small thing to you, but now Jeff has a home. If I had denied God in returning home, Jeff would most likely be "on his way back to lock-up" in the quote directly from him. He has a clean slate and new chance at life that he wouldn't have had before. But holy cow it doesn't stop there. So to even go beyond the sermon or the baptism or even Jeff, another blessing was set in my lap to only reaffirm how crazy God is. As you are all very aware of by now, it was quite a blow learning about Matt Silver leaving CCV. That is the man that picked me up when I was lost. He invested so much time in me. He became my friend and he brought me to Christ no matter what it took. It was only 5 short years ago that Matt Silver Changed my life forever, and now he will be moving to a new place. I could only imagine what it would have been like to come back from Fiji and know that Matt had already left. So I find out the day after finding out about Matt, and the day after finding Jeff a home that the church is hiring interns. As you could guess I jumped at the opportunity, and I can't even explain how happy I am to be able to work at CCV. I get to do what I love, with the people I love, for the people I love. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for absolutely blind obedience. It's weird how the puzzle pieces are kind of beginning to put themselves in place a little. I am sure that I will never quite understand why God does what he does. But seeing some answers to some real big questions is really showing me to never doubt, even when everyone else does. It has been next to impossible to try to break down the most eventful month of my life down to a few paragraphs, but I hope by reading this you can have a little idea of why I'm here, and where I'm going. And if you get an idea of where I'm going, let me know. Because I'm pretty much winging it. God is so good. Trust him with everything. It will turn out alright, I promise. Maybe not now, maybe not soon, but when you hand over control, you can't lose...