So here I sit, almost 3 in the morning, and I can't sleep.This is a common occurrence with me. I will lay down to sleep, and even if I am tired my thoughts will run wild preventing me from sleep. I will toss and turn relentlessly. It's not always bad thoughts, or thoughts about things I need to do the next day. It's thoughts on sermon ideas, relationships in my life, things I want to do better, things I don't want to do again... you know... everything. Many times the best ideas and most improvement I have done in my life have been thought up while rolling around under those blankets. I just wish I could do that some other time. So what I want to do is something very personal with you out there in blog land... When I can't sleep, many times I have to get up, turn on the lights, and pray to God. Pray for peace, so I can sleep, and wake up to serve him. I have not yet done that prayer tonight. I want to do that now, and I want to share it with you.
May I ask you respectfully read, or instead just switch to another web page, I'm sure there is something good on YouTube. Thank you.
Another Sleepless Prayer
Dad,
Here I sit with a million thoughts going on in my head. I am so jealous of all of the people I know who can just lay down and minutes later be snoring away. Their mind must be so calm, so at peace. I'm not sure yet if this is a huge blessing, but it feels more like a curse. I lay down and I think of the many ways that I might be able to help our ministry better. I think of all of the mistakes I have made in the last day or so. Although I know I have your forgiveness, I want to be better for you. I read a book tonight. The book nearly made me cry. The book talked about how people outside of the Christian faith look at Christians. It really made me think and ask the very hard question, am I at fault? That is a question I have been wondering about for a long time really. Also, I have been wondering where I will end up this summer, or beyond graduation. It effects so much of what I do right now... God, as you can see my thoughts are very scattered. I trust in you, I have such faith that I am willing follow you wherever that may be. I have already let you take the drivers seat and I have moved to the back seat... Yet I can't sleep. I humbly ask for some peace for my mind and heart. Take away my worries of this world. Give me strength to empty my mind. Please continue to watch over my family, Melissa, my friends, my church, my enemies, those who I haven't met yet and those in pain... I am so blessed beyond what any man deserves. Thank you for that. I will follow you regardless.
In love,
Your Son
1 comments:
I don't sleep much myself but often think maybe there is a reason for my sleepless nights. I kind wonder the same for you.
I myself just wrote something about how Christian's look on the "outside". Sometimes without even knowing it, they come across in a way they probably don't realize nor want to. I actually called it Christian vomit. I don't think anyone means to come across in a bad way. It's probably more that they're so wrapped up in how awesome the faith is and how awesome it makes them feel that they forget that it isn't about them anymore. I fully believe once a Christ follower, it becomes about everyone else.. God first and then those missing the path. Sometimes I imagine it like we're little worker bees. I can't really get out exactly what I am trying to write but I think you get the point.
Well this has become a novel.
Continue to wonder, it will make the good to come better and the bad and even better lesson.
Now how's that for a first comment?
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